George's Competetion

(Mrs. Zanfino knocks on Jerry's door while Kramer, Jerry and George are inside the apartment...)

(George is quite comfortably sitting on the couch with a pillow on his lap, watching TV. Kramer is making himself dinner humming some song.)

(Jerry is at the table behind the couch, sitting, observing the two.)

Jerry(says to himself): Certainly more comfortable than me in my own house.

(Kramer opens the door)

Mrs.Zanfino: Kramer, sorry to bother you, Joey is not going to bed. I just want to scare him a little bit. Could youcome by, he really gets scared by you.

Kramer(a little proud): Ohhh.

Mrs. Zanfino: Yeah, he thinks you're Frankenstein.

Kramer: Sure Mrs. Z. I'll be there.

(Kramer goes out the door.)

Geroge: What's the story of Mrs. Z.

Jerry: She's a widow, why?

George: Nice looking widow. (thinks for a second). Yes, why not? I just got to be a little better than a dead man. You don't think I can do that?

Jerry (doubtful expression): I don't know George, dead men dont make any mistakes.

George: You're right. It's tough.

Jerry: Yeah, I hope I'm not but I think I am.

Geroge: Oh man!

Jerry: What?

George: I think I've just overcome fear of death!

Scenario#9(George's Parents)

(In the coffee shop; George appears to be somewhat dejected about something)

Jerry: What’s the matter?

George: Nothing, I broke up with Carol.

Jerry: What kind of a son are you?

George: What?

Jerry: Look at your mother and father, despite being North pole and Festivus pole whatever, they’re essentially together. I mean, if every American man and woman would follow in their footsteps, this country would be free of the divorce epidemic. They’re the best!

Geroge: They’re the worst.

Jerry: Exactly.

Scenario#8(George's Personality)

(Kramer slides in real quick as usual through Jerry’s door but singing a really slow song clearly showing a difference between his physical agility and his relaxed mental state.)

(Jerry and Elaine are standing at the counter; Jerry has a drink in his hand while Elaine’s pouring herself some.)

Jerry: Somehow I always thought his barging in is more of a mental thing, apparently not.

(Elaine lifts the glass in her hand as if to drink, pauses as if thinking something…)

Elaine: You can never be certain about people’s personalities.

(Elaine continues and takes a sip.)

(George is looking out the window bent over with a kind of greedy eagerness written all over his backside. Jerry and Elaine turn toward George as George starts talking.)

George: Hey, there are two women on the street, they look good. Oh boy, they are looking at me now. I think…I think they are talking about me…what could they be talking…(his signature neurosis building up with each sentence)…could it be a good thing?…would they be talking positively about me?…oh they are laughing now…it cant possibly be a good thing…WHY???

(Pulls himself back in to the room real quick as he shouts WHY???)

Jerry (looking at Elaine): I think sometimes you CAN be certain about people’s personalities.

Elaine (looking at George): Why what?

George(irate): Why whatever, why everything! (Throwing up his arms in the air as a gesture of general hopelessness in life as he walks towards the couch and collapses on it).

Scenario#7(George's Lie)

(George is watching movie with his new girlfriend Sarah in his apartment)

George: Isn't this movie great, everytime I watch it, just keeps getting better and better.

Sarah: So tell me, do you like me more or this movie?

(George turns his head toward her slowly with a kind of face that has a gentle smile on the outside and "what the hell is she talking about" on the inside)

(Cut to the Coffe Shop)

Jerry(exclamation mark on his face): She compares herself with all animate as well as inanimate things that you are inclined towards and wants to know if you like her more than the object of your inclination?

George: Yes, yesterday she competed against a choclate chip cookie.

Jerry: Did she win?

George: No

Jerry: Mint?

George: No.

Jerry: So what exactly is your problem here?

George: I'm just finding it difficult to lie to her all the time, telling her that I like her more than anything else.

Jerry: Oh come on, since when is lying a problem for you?

George: No, you don't understand. I've grown way beyond simple, straight forward kind of a lie. They just dont challenge me enough. I'm getting sick of lying. That's my problem.

Jerry: And if you tell the truth, drives them staright to mental institutions.

George: That's a given.

Jerry: Well, I think you're gonna have to keep lying Geroge. I understand that it is way too simple and easy but I'm sure it's worth your effort.

Scenario#6(George's Normal!)

Jerry: So how are things between you and Amy, the accountant?

George: Not so good.

Elaine: You know not so good is sometimes not so bad, really.

George: She wants to keep track of all my expenses on a weekly basis and help me get more out of my money.

Jerry: That is bad. So this can’t last more than a week, can it?

George: You think I can break up?

Jerry: Yeah, sure, this has to be the most normal and socially acceptable reason you ever broke-up for.

George: I mean I am having trouble maintaining a level of cunning manipulation of my finances that you'd normally expect with your parents or a wife. I don’t want her to know all the things I spend money on!

Elaine: What exactly do you spend money on?

George: That’s what I don’t want her to know.

Elaine: What, that you don’t spend money on most anything?

George: Never mind.

(George turns to Jerry)
George: So I'm being normal here right, everything's normal right?

Jerry: Perfectly normal…for this time anyway.

(George is proud of himself)

George: Boy, being normal feels really great.

Scenario#5(George's Interview)

(George, Jerry and Kramer are at the Coffee Shop, not particularly to have coffee, not particularly to meet each other and have a conversation. The reason why they’re there is nothing)

(George is in a nice formal suit, looking like an executive)

Jerry: So, are you well prepared for the interview, Mr.Lohman?

George: Hey don’t worry about me; I might have attended more interviews than the total number of comedy shows you may have done in your life.

Kramer: You know I don’t even believe in interviews.

(George and Jerry look at Kramer for a second and then look back at each other)

Jerry: That’s not the way to look at it, is it? The number of comedy shows where I bombed miserably is much less than the total number of interviews you attended.

Kramer: You always end up hiring the wrong people. That is why all the jobs are getting out sourced to India now which was you know, my idea! You can’t decide what a person is capable of or not capable of in half –hour!

Jerry: Yes, I’m sure it takes days to find out all the things you are not capable of.

Kramer: Right. Huh?

Scenario#4(George Writes)

(George is at his parents’ home…)

Estelle: Writer? What do you mean Georgie?

George: Television writer, Jerry and me, we’re gonna write a sitcom.

Estelle: I’m sorry; I don’t see how a real estate agent can become a writer.

George: Well, as far as I personally am concerned, real estate agent or a front office guy or any other job on the face of the earth is just as difficult as being a writer.

Estelle: Jerry can write; he doesn’t do anything.

George: What do you think, Jerry can make it alone? I give him ideas! He uh he uses ‘babys’ for example which was originally my idea.

Frank: Son, I always believed in you.

(George turns towards his father; Estelle continues to look at neither)

George: Really?

Estelle: Your father is lying George.

(Frank gets up and stands in front of Estelle)

Frank: YOU DON’T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BRINGING UP CHILDREN!

Estelle: WELL I DON’T KNOW HOW TO LIE!

Frank: I LIED BECAUSE I HAD TO ENCOURAGE HIM THAT’S WHY!

George: Alright the two of you! I’m already brought up! Now let us PLEASE forget about how I was brought up and…what I’ve grown in to.

Estelle: What do you mean encourage, Frank?

Frank: Every person is born with some kind of skill, since George does not have any other I am guessing this could be his thing. Who knows, as the son of a TV Guide collector, he may have some skill for TV writing.